At the risk of sounding a bit obsessed with Matthew McConaughey, I’d like to draw upon another of his inspirational experiences to shed light on how gap year travels can be transformative in terms of building resilience to life’s inevitable challenges.
The famed actor’s memoir Greenlights reveals how a strange and ‘torturous’ period of his life, when he was placed as an exchange student with an Australian family he nicknames “the Dooleys”, shaped him as a person later on.
Back in Texas, teenage McConaughey had had it all: he had a nice and supportive family, did well at school and sports and was popular with his peers. This somewhat sheltered existence was shaken up when he arrived in Australia to live for a year with a family. The parents of this family and their 26-year-old son made life a “livin’ hell” for him (so much for doing research about host families….). Their home, said to be just outside Sydney, was in fact miles away from the city in a rural backwater. Matthew was enrolled in a local high school, where he was no longer considered the good looking and popular high school Prom King.
Bizarre experiences with the family included being asked to call the couple ‘mum’ and ‘pop’- in which the woman threw a tantrum when he politely refused- and to kiss the daughter. "The whole family lined up one day — a Saturday — they were about to leave," he said. "I'm washing dishes, and I get called in the room and they go, 'Give her a kiss goodbye. Give her a kiss — on the lippies!”.
McConaughey felt like he was “imploding”. He started writing a diary every day, considered becoming a monk; read the poetry of Lord Byron and listened to music. He was determined to stick it out. And he says that if he hadn’t stuck it out there, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.
"I wouldn't have the life I have now without that trip," he told CNN's Anderson Cooper. "I was forced inward. All those crutches I had back home, all those green lights I had, I didn't have any of them. I didn't have anyone to rely on; I didn't have a mum, a dad, a friend, a girlfriend, golf clubs, money, a paid-for car — any of that. I was forced to find my own identity and measure what I believed in. …I believe - in hindsight - it was one of the best years I've ever had."
McConaughey’s experiences of the harsh extremes life sometimes offers, teaches us an important lesson: however difficult things can be, those difficult times are the times which make us who we are as people. Suffering builds resilience; it makes us tougher and more able to cope with the challenges life throws at us.
Aside of McConaughey’s story, travelling anywhere brings obstacles with it: you have to fend for yourself in a way you probably haven’t needed to before. Travelling teaches us to become financially independent and to budget. To learn how to deal with all kinds of people and how to get yourself out of bad situations when they arise.
Even Charles Darwin’s travels to the Galapagos aged 22 had an impact on what would become the life of a genius: he said it was “by far the most important event in my life. It determined my whole career.”
The silver lining for taking a gap year is this: even if times become tough or the going gets rough, you’ll learn something useful for later life. You’ll develop a thicker skin, learn to be more flexible and self-reliant. And that is truly empowering.
Recommended links
https://culsansgaptravel.co.uk/blog/successful-celebritites-that-took-gap-years
https://yearoutgroup.org/gap-year-great-career/
https://www.goabroad.com/articles/gap-year/gap-year-benefits
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